It's never too early.
Showing posts with label Stream of Consciousness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stream of Consciousness. Show all posts
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, August 13, 2010
The most epic monologue of all time
From “V for Vendetta”:
“Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
Enough said.
“Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
Enough said.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Thanksgiving Midnight Madness/Black Friday, 2008
I've never been shopping on Thanksgiving weekend. Usually we're in Cornwall, and in Canada the sales are on Boxing day so the opportunity never arose. Now I'm not into shopping, but I was intrigued by the whole concept of Black Friday - and I wanted to see human greed and American consumerism meet at their finest hour!
So we reached Leesburg Premium outlets at 11.30pm, and already had a hard time finding parking.
Look at the rush of people inside Banana Republic. The checkout line was so long, snaking all around the store, it took 40 minutes to reach checkout.
The Mob.
There was a line outside Coach that went COMPLETELY around the block at midnight - the store would not open till 5am!
I had never heard of a brand called Pacific Sunwear, but it had a Coach rivalling line of kids and were using a 1-out-1-in rule to regular shoppers - interesting that Banana didn't bother with maximum occupancy rules - "we want your money, and don't car if you are crushed to death in the process".
Another around the store checkout line - this time at Puma.
Who cares if you don't have a car? Rent one just to go shopping!
Who cares if there's no parking? Just park on the grassy embankment!
All worn out - walked home at 6am, passed out by 6.05am.
The aftermath - both cars chock full!
So we reached Leesburg Premium outlets at 11.30pm, and already had a hard time finding parking.
Look at the rush of people inside Banana Republic. The checkout line was so long, snaking all around the store, it took 40 minutes to reach checkout.
The Mob.
There was a line outside Coach that went COMPLETELY around the block at midnight - the store would not open till 5am!
I had never heard of a brand called Pacific Sunwear, but it had a Coach rivalling line of kids and were using a 1-out-1-in rule to regular shoppers - interesting that Banana didn't bother with maximum occupancy rules - "we want your money, and don't car if you are crushed to death in the process".
Another around the store checkout line - this time at Puma.
Who cares if you don't have a car? Rent one just to go shopping!
Who cares if there's no parking? Just park on the grassy embankment!
All worn out - walked home at 6am, passed out by 6.05am.
The aftermath - both cars chock full!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Aftermath of online holiday shopping
We got a bunch of holiday shopping in the mail today. As you can see, we're trying our best to help the economy by maxing out our credit cards!
Moosh recently discovered Guitar Hero so we got this as her Christmas prezzie. We chose PS3 so that I could play GT5 next year when it comes out.
Memory cards and polarizers for the Antarctica trip.
New going out shoes (left) and driving shoes (right) for me.
Henckels bling for our upgraded kitchen!
Moosh recently discovered Guitar Hero so we got this as her Christmas prezzie. We chose PS3 so that I could play GT5 next year when it comes out.
Memory cards and polarizers for the Antarctica trip.
New going out shoes (left) and driving shoes (right) for me.
Henckels bling for our upgraded kitchen!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Friday, October 03, 2008
3 reasons why Sarah Palin is latino
1. She has an unmarried, pregnant, teenage daughter.
2. She works, her husband doesn't.
3. When she lays the smack down, her entire family runs for cover.
2. She works, her husband doesn't.
3. When she lays the smack down, her entire family runs for cover.
The Veep Debate - More Sarah Palin Awesomeness
Just like her Miss Teen South Carolina twin, Sarah Palin now has her own map.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Lamborghini Estoque
Very pretty - has the same shape as the Maser Quattroporte. But it looks like Lambo's German masters are going to tame the raging bull - first the Gallardo (end of the Lambo doors) and now this?
Lambo's are supposed to excite the inner 10 year old in all of us - outrageous looks, mind blowing performance, pure sex on wheels. This looks a bit like a Lambo for the guy who's let his/her inner 10 year old die and be replaced by a 40 something exec with a wife, 2.4 kids and a mortgage.
Lambo's are supposed to excite the inner 10 year old in all of us - outrageous looks, mind blowing performance, pure sex on wheels. This looks a bit like a Lambo for the guy who's let his/her inner 10 year old die and be replaced by a 40 something exec with a wife, 2.4 kids and a mortgage.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Miss Teen South Carolina grew up to be Sarah Palin?
I just saw this train wreck Sarah Palin interview:
Now I'm convinced - Miss Teen South Carolina got in the DeLorean, hit the flux capacitor and came back as Sarah Palin. The resemblance and stupidity is striking.
Now I'm convinced - Miss Teen South Carolina got in the DeLorean, hit the flux capacitor and came back as Sarah Palin. The resemblance and stupidity is striking.
Monday, September 15, 2008
How can she slap!!!!
LMAO!!!
Live Indian reality show called "Dadagiri' - only in India would this make live TV.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Proof that abstinence does not work
If you ever wanted proof that abstinence cannot be a feasible alternative to sex-ed, look at Bristol Palin. Her mother Sarah Palin wants to ban sex-ed in schools, and then her 17 year old daughter gets pregnant.
Sarah and other social conservatives living with their heads in the sand, get the message:
Teenagers will be teenagers
They are horny and will have sex whether you like it or not
Its better to protect them against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy by teaching sex-ed in schools.
Abstinence = Epic Fail
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Hillary supporters, PUMA etc - Your guy lost, Get over it, and STFU!
I'm getting tired of all these Hillary supporters whining and moaning about Hillary not winning the Democratic party nomination and not being chosen as the VP candidate. Talk about being sore losers! Here's a sample specimen of MSNBC's Chris Matthews talking to a Hillary/PUMA supporter who just can't stop whining (or lying for that matter).
I mean seriously! If you don't like Barack, don't vote for him. Just stop the whining! STFU!!!
I mean seriously! If you don't like Barack, don't vote for him. Just stop the whining! STFU!!!
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
If business meetings were like the internet
I found these courtesy Jerry on TPC:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzgEi_u9-88
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1776175/
If you don't understand what's going on, you don't waste enough time at work surfing the intarwebz!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzgEi_u9-88
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1776175/
If you don't understand what's going on, you don't waste enough time at work surfing the intarwebz!!!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
One of the funniest emails I've ever read
I got this email yesterday from Sunil, and its definitely one of the funniest emails I've read in recent years. It's really long but I'm sure you'll enjoy it:
*****************
I apologize to people whom I have not written in a while....but then again if we have not communicated it is as much your fault as mine, right? ;)
Anywayz, to get to the point:
- I just passed my orals on Monday as some of you may be aware....YES I ACTUALLY PASSED!!
- I have only one more exam that I am trying to schedule before I head back to India for my dissertation research.
- That means I have just a little over a month left in America.
That also means that I only have a month left to convince all of you that India is the greatest country in the world and Madras (currently known as Chennai) is the greatest city in the world (sorry Baltimore). And I decided that there is no better way to convince you of the same than to expose you to Tamil pop culture. Therefore, I have decided to screen "SIVAJI-THE BOSS" starring SUPERSTAR RAJNI on Thursday September 20th, 2007. I currently have only one screening planned for about 730pm but could potentially do a later show starting at 830 if required. But then again the movie itself is like 3 hours long and so I believe there is enough of SIVAJI to go around.
Facts about SIVAJI-THE BOSS:
- SIVAJI-THE BOSS is incidentally the most expensive Indian movie ever made.
- SUPERSTAR RAJNI is the most highest paid Indian film star ever. You may know him from famous youtube clips such as "little superstar". He is not the little guy but the guy lying on the bed and smoking the butt.
- It was the first Tamil movie to make the UK Top 10.
- Tickets for this movie were sold for as much as USD 25 in Maryland (somewhere near Gaithersburg) and people travelled from as far as West VA to watch it. This is just based on anecdotal evidence. I do understand that it is weak but it has its merits as well.
- It is still running to full houses in Chennai.
Movie Protocol: As I am planning on mimicking the Indian scenario as closely as possible, the following will take place:
- No A/C. I may make it extra hot if it is really pleasant but definitely no A/C.
- If you think you can avoid wearing deodorant, I would greatly appreciate (I am also going to try to arrange a sweaty and smelly guy to walk around and say "SAAR!").
- If you are not Indian, try and look it. If you are, don't try to look like you are not.
- No smoking unless beedis. If you do not know what a "beedi" is, you need to WIKI it and then buy it. And if you do not know what WIKI is, GOD HELP YOU!
- Guys if there are any in the list...you are welcome to wear lungis. I will not be wearing one, but you can for sure.
- Ladies - sarees are much appreciated.
Food and Beverages:
- We will have some food items! Chicken Kurma, Prawn Masala, Lime Rice, Potatoes, and Thayyir sadam and urga for sure! I am cooking and so if you do not trust me bring in your own food (and even if you trust me, you can still bring your own food..I never complain when it comes to food). If you have no idea what Thayyir ssadam and urga is, ask someone who is Tamil. You are going to watch a Tamil movie, you know.
- There will be some wine, vodka, beer and rum. How much I do not know. But feel free to bring your preferential drink if you have one. I know some Indians such as Srinivas might prefer malt! I personally believe that countries such as South Africa and the IRAQ have maps.....
That is I guess pretty much it exact for some hard but solid truth facts!
(1) There are no subtitles. People who speak Tamil on the list have a special offer - food of their choice except for Maggi noodles (Capsicum). Masala is definitely an option. Caitlin, a caucasian on this mailing list, watched it in Madras without subtitles by herself and she was not even drunk but knew exactly what happened. So have no fear!
(2) The movie will be aired via youtube via apple TV to your optic nerves...biological plausibility!!!!
The theatre is really not that big. So please let me know if you are planning on coming and if you plan on bringing something. I may have to spread out some mats on the floor and serve food on banana leaves.
I think that is pretty much it.
Take care and I guess I will see you or at least I hope to hear back?
Sunil
*****************
I apologize to people whom I have not written in a while....but then again if we have not communicated it is as much your fault as mine, right? ;)
Anywayz, to get to the point:
- I just passed my orals on Monday as some of you may be aware....YES I ACTUALLY PASSED!!
- I have only one more exam that I am trying to schedule before I head back to India for my dissertation research.
- That means I have just a little over a month left in America.
That also means that I only have a month left to convince all of you that India is the greatest country in the world and Madras (currently known as Chennai) is the greatest city in the world (sorry Baltimore). And I decided that there is no better way to convince you of the same than to expose you to Tamil pop culture. Therefore, I have decided to screen "SIVAJI-THE BOSS" starring SUPERSTAR RAJNI on Thursday September 20th, 2007. I currently have only one screening planned for about 730pm but could potentially do a later show starting at 830 if required. But then again the movie itself is like 3 hours long and so I believe there is enough of SIVAJI to go around.
Facts about SIVAJI-THE BOSS:
- SIVAJI-THE BOSS is incidentally the most expensive Indian movie ever made.
- SUPERSTAR RAJNI is the most highest paid Indian film star ever. You may know him from famous youtube clips such as "little superstar". He is not the little guy but the guy lying on the bed and smoking the butt.
- It was the first Tamil movie to make the UK Top 10.
- Tickets for this movie were sold for as much as USD 25 in Maryland (somewhere near Gaithersburg) and people travelled from as far as West VA to watch it. This is just based on anecdotal evidence. I do understand that it is weak but it has its merits as well.
- It is still running to full houses in Chennai.
Movie Protocol: As I am planning on mimicking the Indian scenario as closely as possible, the following will take place:
- No A/C. I may make it extra hot if it is really pleasant but definitely no A/C.
- If you think you can avoid wearing deodorant, I would greatly appreciate (I am also going to try to arrange a sweaty and smelly guy to walk around and say "SAAR!").
- If you are not Indian, try and look it. If you are, don't try to look like you are not.
- No smoking unless beedis. If you do not know what a "beedi" is, you need to WIKI it and then buy it. And if you do not know what WIKI is, GOD HELP YOU!
- Guys if there are any in the list...you are welcome to wear lungis. I will not be wearing one, but you can for sure.
- Ladies - sarees are much appreciated.
Food and Beverages:
- We will have some food items! Chicken Kurma, Prawn Masala, Lime Rice, Potatoes, and Thayyir sadam and urga for sure! I am cooking and so if you do not trust me bring in your own food (and even if you trust me, you can still bring your own food..I never complain when it comes to food). If you have no idea what Thayyir ssadam and urga is, ask someone who is Tamil. You are going to watch a Tamil movie, you know.
- There will be some wine, vodka, beer and rum. How much I do not know. But feel free to bring your preferential drink if you have one. I know some Indians such as Srinivas might prefer malt! I personally believe that countries such as South Africa and the IRAQ have maps.....
That is I guess pretty much it exact for some hard but solid truth facts!
(1) There are no subtitles. People who speak Tamil on the list have a special offer - food of their choice except for Maggi noodles (Capsicum). Masala is definitely an option. Caitlin, a caucasian on this mailing list, watched it in Madras without subtitles by herself and she was not even drunk but knew exactly what happened. So have no fear!
(2) The movie will be aired via youtube via apple TV to your optic nerves...biological plausibility!!!!
The theatre is really not that big. So please let me know if you are planning on coming and if you plan on bringing something. I may have to spread out some mats on the floor and serve food on banana leaves.
I think that is pretty much it.
Take care and I guess I will see you or at least I hope to hear back?
Sunil
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Pyaare's wedding
Another one bites the dust. Pyaare finally called it quits and is now married. I suxors at public speaking, but ended up giving a joint speech with Jaan-e-man at Pyaare's wedding. Here it is one more time:
"This speech was Jaan-e-man’s idea – those of you who know her have probably guessed that she had the idea and then delegated the writing to someone who is “so dumb” (her words not mine). In this case me.
A wise man once told me that a wedding speech should last as long as the groom makes love. Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
To make the process of writing this speech easier, I decided to search the intarwebz - as we all know that is the source of all knowledge and truth. I searched and searched and found some really great stuff after a couple of hours. Then I realized that I was supposed to be searching for wedding speeches and not porn.
My internet searches did yield a poem that I thought would be appropriate for this occasion. Kruti its for you and its called “The Perfect Groom”:
The perfect groom is gentle, never harsh, nor cruel nor mean.
He has a beautiful smile and keeps his face clean.
The perfect groom likes children and will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father and a good husband to his bride.
The perfect groom likes cooking and cleaning and laundry too.
He’ll do anything in his power to show is love for you.
The perfect groom is sweet, writing poetry from your name.
He’s your best friend and kisses away the pain.
The perfect groom will never make you cry or hurt in any way.
And if this poem stands to be true, Vipin you really are gay.
That’s it from us – Here’s wishing the bride and groom lots of happiness and laughter in the years to come!!!"
"This speech was Jaan-e-man’s idea – those of you who know her have probably guessed that she had the idea and then delegated the writing to someone who is “so dumb” (her words not mine). In this case me.
A wise man once told me that a wedding speech should last as long as the groom makes love. Thank you ladies and gentlemen.
To make the process of writing this speech easier, I decided to search the intarwebz - as we all know that is the source of all knowledge and truth. I searched and searched and found some really great stuff after a couple of hours. Then I realized that I was supposed to be searching for wedding speeches and not porn.
My internet searches did yield a poem that I thought would be appropriate for this occasion. Kruti its for you and its called “The Perfect Groom”:
The perfect groom is gentle, never harsh, nor cruel nor mean.
He has a beautiful smile and keeps his face clean.
The perfect groom likes children and will raise them by your side.
He will be a good father and a good husband to his bride.
The perfect groom likes cooking and cleaning and laundry too.
He’ll do anything in his power to show is love for you.
The perfect groom is sweet, writing poetry from your name.
He’s your best friend and kisses away the pain.
The perfect groom will never make you cry or hurt in any way.
And if this poem stands to be true, Vipin you really are gay.
That’s it from us – Here’s wishing the bride and groom lots of happiness and laughter in the years to come!!!"
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