One of the funniest emails I've ever read

I got this email yesterday from Sunil, and its definitely one of the funniest emails I've read in recent years. It's really long but I'm sure you'll enjoy it:

*****************

I apologize to people whom I have not written in a while....but then again if we have not communicated it is as much your fault as mine, right? ;)

Anywayz, to get to the point:

- I just passed my orals on Monday as some of you may be aware....YES I ACTUALLY PASSED!!

- I have only one more exam that I am trying to schedule before I head back to India for my dissertation research.

- That means I have just a little over a month left in America.

That also means that I only have a month left to convince all of you that India is the greatest country in the world and Madras (currently known as Chennai) is the greatest city in the world (sorry Baltimore). And I decided that there is no better way to convince you of the same than to expose you to Tamil pop culture. Therefore, I have decided to screen "SIVAJI-THE BOSS" starring SUPERSTAR RAJNI on Thursday September 20th, 2007. I currently have only one screening planned for about 730pm but could potentially do a later show starting at 830 if required. But then again the movie itself is like 3 hours long and so I believe there is enough of SIVAJI to go around.

Facts about SIVAJI-THE BOSS:

- SIVAJI-THE BOSS is incidentally the most expensive Indian movie ever made.

- SUPERSTAR RAJNI is the most highest paid Indian film star ever. You may know him from famous youtube clips such as "little superstar". He is not the little guy but the guy lying on the bed and smoking the butt.

- It was the first Tamil movie to make the UK Top 10.

- Tickets for this movie were sold for as much as USD 25 in Maryland (somewhere near Gaithersburg) and people travelled from as far as West VA to watch it. This is just based on anecdotal evidence. I do understand that it is weak but it has its merits as well.

- It is still running to full houses in Chennai.

Movie Protocol: As I am planning on mimicking the Indian scenario as closely as possible, the following will take place:

- No A/C. I may make it extra hot if it is really pleasant but definitely no A/C.

- If you think you can avoid wearing deodorant, I would greatly appreciate (I am also going to try to arrange a sweaty and smelly guy to walk around and say "SAAR!").

- If you are not Indian, try and look it. If you are, don't try to look like you are not.

- No smoking unless beedis. If you do not know what a "beedi" is, you need to WIKI it and then buy it. And if you do not know what WIKI is, GOD HELP YOU!

- Guys if there are any in the list...you are welcome to wear lungis. I will not be wearing one, but you can for sure.

- Ladies - sarees are much appreciated.

Food and Beverages:

- We will have some food items! Chicken Kurma, Prawn Masala, Lime Rice, Potatoes, and Thayyir sadam and urga for sure! I am cooking and so if you do not trust me bring in your own food (and even if you trust me, you can still bring your own food..I never complain when it comes to food). If you have no idea what Thayyir ssadam and urga is, ask someone who is Tamil. You are going to watch a Tamil movie, you know.

- There will be some wine, vodka, beer and rum. How much I do not know. But feel free to bring your preferential drink if you have one. I know some Indians such as Srinivas might prefer malt! I personally believe that countries such as South Africa and the IRAQ have maps.....

That is I guess pretty much it exact for some hard but solid truth facts!
(1) There are no subtitles. People who speak Tamil on the list have a special offer - food of their choice except for Maggi noodles (Capsicum). Masala is definitely an option. Caitlin, a caucasian on this mailing list, watched it in Madras without subtitles by herself and she was not even drunk but knew exactly what happened. So have no fear!
(2) The movie will be aired via youtube via apple TV to your optic nerves...biological plausibility!!!!

The theatre is really not that big. So please let me know if you are planning on coming and if you plan on bringing something. I may have to spread out some mats on the floor and serve food on banana leaves.


I think that is pretty much it.

Take care and I guess I will see you or at least I hope to hear back?


Sunil