SKP vs. SKB

Pyaare and Jaan-e-man laugh at my Shaadi Ke Pehle (SKP) and Shaadi Ke Baad (SKB) comments. SKP and SKB are my observations on married life in general, stuff that no one ever tells you. At one time I suspected a sinister conspiracy on the part of married guys to get unmarried men to hitched – sort of a grown up “Psych, I gotcha!” I’m still not convinced there isn’t one, albeit on a subconscious level.

Some common SKB things that no one tells you about:

1. Decision making is now joint decision making, which is a nice way of saying “Just do what your wife says you ignorant twit”.
2. A couple of years after you get married you seem to misplace your libido. You know its there somewhere, probably somewhere safe, but you can’t find it when you need it. Sad things is when you do find it, your wife has gone to sleep.
3. You become the “old man at the club” (mad props to Chris Rock for his hilarious monologue). You still like the music, but everyone else is having way more fun than you are – and is probably wondering what the hell you’re doing at club in the first place.
4. You gain some serious weight – at least 25 pounds. And you go grey. I’m not a health freak by any measure, but it is irritating having to replace your wardrobe periodically because of an ever increasing girth. And to those who say you don’t have to replace your wardrobe, just exercise, I have this to say – do I look like a masochist to you? Why on earth would I want to do that? I like greasy food that’s high on fat and salt. You wish to rob me if one of life’s few pleasures? Eff that….

There will be more SKB comments to come. Stay tuned…